im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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