Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
My vagina is very pro this idea
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
