Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
