I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize