and next time when you feel me up, do it right
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize