I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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