I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
