Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
