Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
