That's intense
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize
