i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
