every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
