Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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