if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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