Having a random hookup so left but love u
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
