glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
