last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
