thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
