i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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