omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
