I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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