k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I need to align my fucking chakras
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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