my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
