shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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