dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
