am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
