hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
