i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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