Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
