i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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