Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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