there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
