no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
