can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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