Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
