I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
