Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize