Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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