I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
