420 ftw
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize