...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
