Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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