Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
