This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize