So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
