great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
