just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize