Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I think my moral compass just broke
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
