Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
