i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
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