OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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