all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
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