i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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