I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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