now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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