It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
