spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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