p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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