I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
