I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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