Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
